Moi, vous me connaissez ?

J'ai pas l'habitude de vous mener en bateau, et quand ça m'arrive, c'est moi qui rame !

Alors si je vous affirme que vous n'avez pas encore jamais lu un bouquin comme celui-ci, vous pouvez me croire !

Dans le TANGO CHINETOQUE, vous allez trouver des trucs qui vous feront dresser les poils des bras sur la tronche ! Vous y verrez comment, en Chine, on fabrique mille kilomètres d'autoroute par jour ! Comment un mouton tombe amoureux de Béru ! Comment Béru opère de l'appendicite un zig qui n'en a pas besoin ! Vous y verrez comment le Gros et moi on se paye une virouze dans le cosmos ! Parfaitement ! Et puis, l'amour à la chinoise, ça ne vous dit rien ?

Cette extraordinaire aventure se passe en Chine, mais on ne rit pas jaune pour autant. Et si le coq gaulois se fait déplumasser le dargif par moments, ça ne l'empêche pas de chanter fort !

Non, franchement, je plains Louis XVI qui est mort trop tôt pour avoir pu lire ça !

SAN-ANTONIO

Moi, vous me connaissez ?

J'ai pas l'habitude de vous mener en bateau, et quand ça m'arrive, c'est moi qui rame !

Alors si je vous affirme que vous n'avez pas encore jamais lu un bouquin comme celui-ci, vous pouvez me croire !

Dans le TANGO CHINETOQUE, vous allez trouver des trucs qui vous feront dresser les poils des bras sur la tronche ! Vous y verrez comment, en Chine, on fabrique mille kilomètres d'autoroute par jour ! Comment un mouton tombe amoureux de Béru ! Comment Béru opère de l'appendicite un zig qui n'en a pas besoin ! Vous y verrez comment le Gros et moi on se paye une virouze dans le cosmos ! Parfaitement ! Et puis, l'amour à la chinoise, ça ne vous dit rien ?

Cette extraordinaire aventure se passe en Chine, mais on ne rit pas jaune pour autant. Et si le coq gaulois se fait déplumasser le dargif par moments, ça ne l'empêche pas de chanter fort !

Non, franchement, je plains Louis XVI qui est mort trop tôt pour avoir pu lire ça !

SAN-ANTONIO

Pour bien se préparer à la consommation de la tarte aux poils, il est conseillé de manger beaucoup de cœurs d'artichauts non ébarbés. Ensuite, il est bon d'embrasser le sculpteur César, Alain Bombard ou François Nourissier à pleine joue et de façon répétitive, avant de prodiguer ces baisers fougueux à un manteau d'astrakan (dans la région des boutonnières de préférence).

L'entraînement doit être intensif. Songez qu'Arthur Rubinstein s'est fait chier des années avec « La Lettre à Elise » avant d'interpréter ces noctumes de Chopin qui ont assuré sa gloire.

Lorsque vous aurez la certitude de bien maîtriser le sujet, vous pourrez vous risquer alors à pratiquer sur une dame la figure dite de « l'enveloppe cachetée ». Pour le reste, faites confiance à votre instinct et allez de l'avant !

Cela dit, il n'y a pas que des séances de tartes aux poils dans ce saisissant ouvrage.

Vous trouverez en outre : une balle fondue, huit caïmans (mais peut-être sont-ce des alligators ?), une mine désaffectée, un nègre blanc, une balle de golf particulière et plus d'une tonne de cadavres.

Quand vous aurez achevé votre lecture, faites-moi signe : on ira bouffer ensemble.

De la tarte aux poils, de préférence.

La Bulgarie est le pays du yaourt.

J'aurais donc pu intituler ce bouquin « Baise-la dans le yaourt ».

Mais je suis un auteur bien trop embouché pour débloquer au dos d'une couverture.

Heureusement qu'à l'intérieur on peut y aller carrément.

Tout se permettre, et un peu plus encore, moi, c'est justement le « un peu plus » qui m'intéresse.

Et toi aussi, pas vrai, bougre de petit dégoûtant.

Faut toujours se gaffer des pays où il ne se passe rien.

Parce que en général, il s'y passe des trucs-machins pires qu'ailleurs.

Ainsi de l'Uruguay.

Moi je croyais que Montevideo, sa capitale, n'était intéressante que pour les cinq pieds qu'elle apporte à une chanson.

Fume !

Si nous n'avions pas été à la hauteur, Béru et moi, on y aurait laissé nos belles plumes de coq !

Heureusement qu'on a pu s'y faire rigoler la zize à s'en gonfler les amygdales sud !

Quand on a tout paumé, il nous reste au moins le chibre.

Nos petites potesses n'en demandent pas davantage, t'es d'accord ?

Take an exit off the Jersey Turnpike to the irresistible world of Stephanie Plum, America's favorite bounty hunter, where she gets into more trouble than ever. This time, she faces a notorious gang in Trenton who wants her dead. Morelli warns that she's in too deep, and Stephanie more than agrees. But the gang won't let her bow out. With Ranger missing in action, Stephanie has to go into hiding-and stumbles on to the secret location of Ranger's "bat cave." Is it the perfect place to disappear? Or will she get into more trouble than she knows by delving into his private world? The tenth Stephanie Plum novel is filled with Evanovich's trademark high stakes, high adventure, high wit, and sly comedy.

« — Monsieur, j'lui dis comme ça, il va falloir que je vous tue toutes affaires cessantes, mes supérieurs m'en ont donné l'ordre !

— Essayez toujours, me répond le tueur à gages en levant son verre à ma santé. Et il fait bien, vu qu'elle va être mise à rude épreuve, ma petite santé. Ah ! les souris, je vous jure… Plus je les pratique, plus je me rends compte que c'est du sable. Du sable émouvant, j'admets, mais terriblement mouvant ! Pour escalader les jolies dunes, vaut mieux ramper ! Dans cette position, on prend moins de risques, et puis quoi : c'est tellement plus agréable.

Si je ne suis pas de retour à la fin de ce livre, ne vous caillez pas la laitance. Entrez et faites-vous des frites en m'attendant : la clé est sous le paillasson ! »

Suburban supersleuth Jane Jeffry and her detective beau Mel VanDyne have finally decided to tie the knot. While Jane's planning the wedding of her dreams — with no overbearing mother-in-law to steamroll the entire event and tell her what to wear — Mel convinces her and her best friend Shelley to take a women's self-defense class. But before Jane and Shelley can learn the karate kicks and mean moves to fight off even the perfect purse-snatcher, their class is cut brutally short. . when two participants are murdered. Between her new writing project, an addition to the house, and battling mothers-in-law, she's got her hands full. But she'll have to make time to help Mel find the killer if she wants to walk happily — and safely — down the aisle.

For nearly a year Bernie Rhodenbarr has gone straight…well of a fashion. But Bernie has a new landlord for his Greenwich Village bookstore — Bernie Stoppelagard — not a nice man, who wants to increase his rent by 10,000 dollars…a month! Desperate times call for desperate measures. So Bernie is back to work burgling an apartment of a couple on a European tour of untraceable cash. There is only one problem — the naked man in the bathroom — and the fact that he is deceased. At the same time the apartment of Stoppelgard's brother-in-law has been relieved of a million dollar baseball card collection and somehow Bernie is being blamed (read: framed) for that crime. Mix in a mysterious woman and a crotchety old New York policeman and Bernie seems in big trouble. So what's the answer…Find the baseball cards…and steal them back.

Engel had worked his way up to being Nick Rovito’s right-hand man, near the top of the Syndicate. And this was a delicate job — retrieving a very important jacket, loaded with heroin, from a fresh grave. But Engel found only an empty coffin...

What surprises can await a suburban housewife, going to a class reunion? Some get older, some get balder, some get… deader? A challenge for Jane Jeffry, who is a cross between Miss Marple and Erma Bombeck.

In Jane Austen’s Persuasion, the Cobb—Lyme’s famous seawall—proved dangerous to a careless young woman. Now it proves deadly.

Following their recent intrigue at Highbury, Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth Darcy visit the seaside village of Lyme on holiday. Family business also draws them there, to receive the personal effects of Mr. Darcy’s late cousin, a naval lieutenant who died in action.

Their retreat turns tragic when they come upon a body lying at the base of the Cobb. The victim is Mrs. Clay, a woman with a scandalous past that left her with child—a child whose existence threatened the inheritance of one of her paramours and the reputation of another. Did she lose her balance and fall from the slippery breakwater, or was she pushed?

Mrs. Clay’s death is not the only one that commands the Darcys’ attention. When Mr. Darcy discovers, among his cousin’s possessions, evidence that the young lieutenant’s death might have been murder, he allies with Captain Frederick Wentworth (hero of Jane Austen's Persuasion) to probe details of a battle that took place across the sea . . . but was influenced by a conspiracy much closer to home.

The Deception at Lyme (Or, The Peril of Persuasion) is the delightful sixth installment in the critically acclaimed and award-winning Mr. and Mrs. Darcy mystery series by Carrie Bebris.

Even before he invented Matthew Scudder and Bernie Rhodenbarr, Block was writing terrific thrillers such as this.

Johnny Hayden and his partner had the perfect scam selling worthless Canadian land to marks. The scam just has to work, because at stake is Evvie — the girl with the long green heart.

With some 66 hits under his belt, Tomislav Bokšić, or Toxic, has a flawless record as hitman for the Croatian mafia in New York. That is, until he kills the wrong guy and is forced to flee the States, leaving behind the life he knows and loves. Suddenly, he finds himself on a plane hurtling toward Reykjavik, Iceland, borrowing the identity of an American televangelist named Father Friendly. With no means of escape from this island devoid of gun shops and contract killing, tragicomic hilarity ensues as he is forced to come to terms with his bloody past and reevaluate his future.

John Dortmunder left prison with the warm words of the warden ringing in his ears and not one chance of going straight. Soon Dortmunder was riding in a stolen Cadillac with venetian blinds, reuniting with old friends and scheming to heist a large emerald belonging to a small African nation. As always, his planning is meticulous. As always, the execution is not. Undaunted, Dortmunder is now chasing the gem by plane, train and automobile. Because this hot rock has a way of getting stolen — not just once, but again and again and again…

Homemaking is about to take on a whole new meaning for Jane Jeffry now that she's agreed to help restore and redecorate a decrepit old neighborhood mansion. The home's owner, the prosperously divorced Bitsy Burnside, considers herself to be a feminist to the max and wants an almost all-female crew to do the dirty work — prompting the quick-witted Shelley Nowack to dub the project "the House of Seven Mabels." With her best friend and decorating whiz Shelley on the estrogen-heavy team, Jane thinks this exhausting, plaster-dusty job may not be as unpleasant as it initially appeared to be.Until, of course, things start to get very messy. It begins with a series of mean-spirited "pranks" — strange odors, mysterious electrical shorts, a myriad of petty annoyances designed to impede the progress of the fixer-uppers. And then the pranks turn deadly, leaving one of the workers lying lifeless at the foot of a staircase.Tragic, yes, but an accident? Jane thinks not. And with the able assistance of Shelley, not to mention a little help from her best beau, Chicago detective Mel VanDyne, Jane's hoping she can construct a solid case and nail the assassin. Suspects are certainly in abundant supply.

Mr. and Mrs. Darcy are looking forward to a relaxing stay with dear friends when their carriage is hailed by a damsel-in-distress outside of the village of Highbury. Little do the Darcys realize that gypsies roam these woods, or that both their possessions and the woman are about to vanish into the night. The Darcys seek out the parish magistrate, who is having a difficult evening of his own. Mr. Knightley and his new wife, the former Miss Emma Woodhouse (the heroine of Jane Austen's Emma) are hosting a party to celebrate the marriage of their friends, Mr. Frank Churchill and Miss Jane Fairfax. During dinner, Mr. Edgar Churchill, uncle and adoptive father of the groom, falls suddenly ill and dies. The cause of death: poison. When the Darcys and the Knightleys join forces to investigate the crimes, they discover that the robbery and Edgar Churchill's death may be connected. Together they must work to quickly locate the source of the poison and the murderer's motive — before the killer can strike again.

Mr. and Mrs. Darcy are looking forward to a relaxing stay with dear friends when their carriage is hailed by a damsel-in-distress outside of the village of Highbury. Little do the Darcys realize that gypsies roam these woods, or that both their possessions and the woman are about to vanish into the night. The Darcys seek out the parish magistrate, who is having a difficult evening of his own. Mr. Knightley and his new wife, the former Miss Emma Woodhouse (the heroine of Jane Austen's Emma) are hosting a party to celebrate the marriage of their friends, Mr. Frank Churchill and Miss Jane Fairfax. During dinner, Mr. Edgar Churchill, uncle and adoptive father of the groom, falls suddenly ill and dies. The cause of death: poison. When the Darcys and the Knightleys join forces to investigate the crimes, they discover that the robbery and Edgar Churchill's death may be connected. Together they must work to quickly locate the source of the poison and the murderer's motive — before the killer can strike again.

Mr. Darcy's aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, is eager to arrange a lucrative and socially advantageous match for her daughter, Anne. Of course, her ladyship has not taken into account such frivolous matters as love or romance, let alone the wishes of her daughter. Needless to say, there is much turmoil when the bride-to-be elopes. Their pursuit of the headstrong couple leads the Darcys to the village of Mansfield, where the usually intricate game of marriage machinations becomes still more convoluted by lies and deception. There, the Darcys discover that love and marriage can be a complex and dangerous business — one that can even lead to murder.

Mr. Darcy's aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, is eager to arrange a lucrative and socially advantageous match for her daughter, Anne. Of course, her ladyship has not taken into account such frivolous matters as love or romance, let alone the wishes of her daughter. Needless to say, there is much turmoil when the bride-to-be elopes. Their pursuit of the headstrong couple leads the Darcys to the village of Mansfield, where the usually intricate game of marriage machinations becomes still more convoluted by lies and deception. There, the Darcys discover that love and marriage can be a complex and dangerous business — one that can even lead to murder.